Impossible Interview: A Chat With Queen Fae Hart

Stela’s stories are full of colorful characters, rich with personality. So, in order to get to know our fictional friends a little better, I’ve jumped into the worlds of Stela’s original exclusives to talk directly to the characters themselves.

This time around, I was planning to enter the Castle Zaubersburg and meet with the conniving Queen Fae Hart… but I was turned away at the gate. After a few days of persistence, I eventually persuaded one of the guardsmen to take me around to the servants’ entrance. Needless to say, the Queen wasn’t too happy to have a visitor.

queen in chambers

Queen Fae Hart: How dare you disturb my morning ritual, you low-born cretin!

Matt Langenhop: My apologies, your highness. I’m here to…

QFH: You’re here for nothing, except perhaps to lose your head!

ML: I’m here to interview you!

QFH: Say that again? An interview?

ML: The people are eager to learn more about the fairest, most powerful woman in the land.

QFH: Well, that’s an entirely different, and much more interesting, story. Have a seat.

ML: Thank you, Your Highness. And thanks for not, you know, having me murdered.

QFH: Don’t count your chickens, boy.

ML: Very well. Now, how do you think the kingdom is doing?

QFH: It is… on its way to perfection.

ML: Is perfection achievable?

QFH: It is if everyone follows my lead and accepts my commands without question. Perfection takes dedication, effort, and a mind unclouded by frivolous pursuits. If Lady Claire had focused on maintaining her poise and appearance, she might have been allowed to stay at the high table at formal dinners. Unfortunately, she allowed herself to age hideously, and that is simply unacceptable.

ML: So, you believe maintaining a youthful appearance is a worthy pursuit?

QFH: People talk about “inner worth” or “inner beauty,” but they know absolutely nothing. “Inner” and “outer” are the same thing — the outside matches your inside. If your outside is disgusting, then you are a disgusting person, and I have no time for you.

ML: And does your outside match your inside?

QFH: Of course. I am perfect.

ML: Then why do you have so much trouble keeping your subjects in line?

QFH: <i>Excuse me?</i>

ML: And what of these rumblings of a coming battle with the giants in the north? Shouldn’t someone perfect be able to maintain peace with other nations, with their people, or with their own family members?

QFH: There is a line, interviewer. You have already stepped far beyond it. I suggest you remember your place, for if you step out of bounds one more time, your head will roll its way out of this room without the rest of you.

ML: Understood. Tell me about your daughter, Princess Francis.

QFH: She’s promising, in her way. But she’s also an obstinate brat who has yet to learn her place in society. Perhaps in a few years, once she starts taking her position seriously and sets aside her ridiculous dalliances, she may yet be worthy of sitting at my side.

ML: Dalliances?

QFH: Between her childlike fits, my girl has begun an unfortunate flirtation with the daughter of a lower Lord. Something White, I believe.

ML: Could it be Lumi White?

QFH: No, that doesn’t sound right.

ML: I’m pretty sure it’s Lumi.

QFH: We’ve extended past the point where I care. In any case, Francis needs to get off her horse, quit this pointless fling, and find herself a proper high-born suitor to continue the kingdom’s pristine line.

ML: And if she doesn’t?

QFH: For her sake, I hope she never learns the answer to that question.

ML: Did you really just threaten your own daughter?

QFH: Did you just dare to step over the line once again? Guards!

ML: Oh, look at the time! I must be off! Lovely meeting you!

And there you have it! I made it out of the castle with my head still attached to my shoulders. But I wouldn’t dare cross her heinous highness again. Interested to learn more about Queen Fae’s dark agenda? Find out in Lumi White a graphic novel of untold love, available now at Stela Unlimited!

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